Running in Circles
by NowNuWrites
Summary: Picks up right where 5x17 left off...Matt and Gabby continue their conversation about being a family.


_Hey guys! It's Rebecca (NowWriteItOut)! So Em (NuGirl) and I have been working on this off and on since episode 5x17 aired. It's been a lot of messaging and just kind of bouncing ideas off of each other and well…here's the first chapter! We have a rough outline of where we want to take this story and I for one am very excited to be collaborating with such an amazing writer like Em!_

 _If you like what you read, please leave us some words, comments, suggestions, etc. You know the drill!_

 _Disclaimer: Obviously we don't anything from Chicago Fire - it belongs to NBC, Derek Haas, Michael Brandt, Dick Wolf and that crew. If we did - we'd probably be fighting over who got Casey :D_

* * *

 **Running in Circles**

 **Chapter One-All In**

"We are a family and we always will be, no matter what happens," Matt assured Gabby, his lips lingering just above hers as he searched her eyes for any sort of hint that his words had allayed her fears - if even only in the slightest. "I love you," he whispered, his calloused thumbs brushing over her smooth skin as he cupped her face.

"I love you too," Gabby whispered, watching Matt's lips move towards hers. Standing on her toes, she closed the distance and pressed her lips firmly against his in an effort to express just how much his words had meant to her.

Parting his lips from hers only to catch his breath, Matt grinned, "But I've been thinking…"

Gabby opened her eyes and met Matt's, "About what?"

"I've been thinking that maybe.. we think... maybe it's time to add to our family."

His words caught Gabby off-guard but as soon as she took them in, a wide grin broke out on her face, "As in try for a baby?"

Matt nodded shyly, "Only if you're ready. I don't want to push you into anything you're not-"

"Oh, I'm ready!" Gabby professed with giddiness, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I'm very much ready!"

"Yeah?" Matt confirmed, "I don't want to push you or rush you but Gabby...there's nothing else that would make me happier than to have a baby with you. Time and time again, I've seen you step into the role of a mother and it's the most magical thing...you were born to be a mom and I want to give that to you."

Gabby dipped her head in an attempt to keep her emotions in check, his words hitting her harder than either one of them probably expected. She shook her head and wiped at her eyes before lifting her head back up and meeting Matt's eyes again. "That's all I want for you, Baby. I can't think of anyone else who was more meant to be a father than you. With the Darden Boys, with Eva and Diego, when I…" she took a shaky breath, the anchored grief in her heart from the baby they'd lost suddenly getting heavier. "The uh...the short time I was pregnant, you were so attentive and gentle. And then of course, with Louie..."

"Hey, hey…" Matt whispered, reaching up and wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "This conversation is supposed to make us happy, not sad. I want to have a baby with you and you want to have a baby with me…so let's do it…let's have a baby."

And just like that Gabby was once again grinning from ear to ear. Taking a hold of Matt's hands, she intertwined her fingers with his and stood on the tip of her toes, pressing her lips to his. "I love you so much," she breathed as she pulled back just enough to find his eyes. "What do you say we take this into our room?"

Matt grinned, "I thought you'd never ask!" Dropping Gabby's hands, he hoisted her off the ground in one swift move, earning a squeak of surprise from her in response before she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist. Securing his arms around her, he carried her into their bedroom.

* * *

Gabby lay awake early into the next morning with a hundred watt smile plastered across her face, listening to Matt snore gently. It had been an exciting night ever since Matt had shared his thoughts about expanding their family. It was like her wildest dreams were coming true. Sometime soon, sometime real soon there was going to be a part of her and Matt growing.

There was nothing that was going to wipe that smile off of her face.

Untangling herself from Matt she lay her back flat against the mattress letting herself sink into it. Tentatively she allowed her hands to drape across her flat stomach as she imagined a growing baby bump. It actually surprised her to think how excited she was and how ready she was to have a family. Last time she was pregnant she and Matt weren't in a good place, hell they hadn't even been together. And it had all ended in tragedy, but Gabby wasn't going to let her mind wander into that dark, dark place - not happening.

Unbeknownst to her, Matt had spent the previous night after they had exhausted themselves with their activities many times overs, thinking about what their future might hold for them. He had propped himself up on his elbow and watched his wife sleep soundly, thoroughly spent. She was laying on her stomach, her face turned inwards with messy curls spread all over her pillow. Matt grinned stupidly as he brushed her hair out of her face. This was real, what they had was real and it was about to become even more real.

This was what Matt Casey had always wanted; he had meant it when he told Hallie that he would have married her tomorrow if he knew they wanted the same things. But in hindsight, Hallie's lack of wanting children was the best thing that had ever happened to him. No one would ever be able to deny Matt was meant to be a father, they only needed to see the sparkle in his pale blue eyes. Ever since he had helped deliver that baby whilst on shift - it had only strengthened his desire. Over the last two years he and Gabby had lived this crazy whirlwind life from their unplanned baby, a loss, Louie, marriage and then the loss of Louie. Their unborn child tugged at his heart strings - that child no matter how they had been conceived, it didn't matter that their relationship was messy. The baby had been created by two people who loved each other.

And that had all been ripped away from them in an instance. All the dreams Matt held, all the hopes he'd had for being a Daddy had suddenly vanished. And without even meaning to Matt found himself thinking about what could possibly happen. It was great that they had suddenly decided to add to their family; Matt had felt like his heart might have burst when Gabby had whispered those words earlier that she was ready. It didn't take a genius to realize that Gabby had been scared of falling pregnant again after the ectopic pregnancy, so he hadn't brought it up again. Matt didn't want to bring it up again, but it was going to kill him if she had another ectopic pregnancy. While he knew that the chance of it happening again was slim, he couldn't help but think what if they were that small percentage that it might happen to them again. There was no way that he was ever going to bring that up with Gabby. Looking back over at Gabby who had a peaceful smile on her face - Matt reminded himself to just let it happen. That thought was the last one on his mind as he drifted off to sleep that night, pulling Gabby tightly into his embrace.

And that was how Gabby had awoken just a short while ago, wrapped up in Matt's warm, tight embrace. Not every morning turned out like this. Gabby was able to lay in bed with their legs still tangled together, nowhere to be and in no rush to get their morning started. She giggled slightly as Matt continued to snore lightly. Tapping her fingers thoughtfully on her belly Gabby wondered what it would feel like to have a growing belly; to feel the baby move for the first time; to hold their child for the first time. There was a longing deep inside, almost an urge of sorts that she just knew that she and Matt were meant to be parents.

Gabby squeezed her eyes shut and started to imagine what their lives might be like in a few years; a pigeon pair of children both with her dark skin, but their little boy who looked more like Matt and a little princess tucked up in Matt's arms who didn't resemble either of them more strongly than the other, but a pretty nice mix of both of her parents. It made her heart ache and it felt so real that she could almost reach out and touch them. Almost so real that she could smell the crisp Chicago air, smell that new baby smell and hear the joyful squeals of their little man as he ran around a wooden play house that she just knew that Matt had constructed.

Realistically, Gabby knew that this wasn't going to be instant and she also knew that it also wasn't going to be a perfect life every day to come. But she pushed all these types of thoughts to the back of her mind.

She just wanted to start their family now and hearing Matt moan slightly, Gabby knew that he was in a state of waking up now. She grinned somewhat evilly as her hand slid under the covers on a journey towards Matt's body. There was no holding back as her nail gently started to rake up and down Matt's tender thigh.

It wasn't long before Matt let out a low growl and flipped over pinning her down between his knees, one of his strong hands capturing both of her wrists easily, tugging them roughly up above her head. He loosely held them in his grasp as his other hand made its way down her side and to hold her hip in place. Matt smiled cockily as he watched Gabby squirm under his hold, her eyes darkening with lust. Laughing at her predicament slightly Matt's eyes never left hers before taking pity on her and leaning towards her, attacking her neck with his hungry kisses.

"Babe," Matt murmured as he reluctantly pushed himself up and off of Gabby. "I've got a budget meeting to get to and aren't you supposed to have breakfast with your brother?"

"Antonio won't mind if I reschedule," she insisted, running her hands up and down his bare chest.

"But I can't," Matt countered. He kissed her once more and hurried out of bed before she had a chance to persuade him otherwise. "And besides," he continued as he moved about their room, picking up their clothes from yesterday and tossing them in a nearby hamper. "You might want to save some of that energy for our date tonight."

Gabby propped herself up on her elbows to get a better look at her husband and sent him a look of confusion, "What are you talking about?"

Matt grinned, "Tonight...you and I are going to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Gabby questioned, not quite following.

"Celebrate our expanding family," Matt grinned, "celebrate that we are adding to our family… This is huge Gabby! A celebration is in order… And I am going to take my girl out," he threw over his shoulder as he took his final step, crossing the threshold into their bathroom.

Gabby wasn't ready to get out of their bed. She knew that Matt was nearly ready to leave the house, but still, she was snuggled into bed. Listening carefully she could hear his heavy footsteps coming back into the bedroom after readying himself in the bathroom. Gabby couldn't help herself from biting down on her lower lip, lust filling her eyes as Matt walked over towards her. Her man was hot in his suit, sans tie and the top few buttons were undone. As he leaned over to peck her lips, her fingers curled around his biceps and she pulled him towards herself, with a cheeky grin adorning her face.

The pull was surprising to Matt and he landed on top of her with an oomph, the air being pushed out of his lungs. He started to scramble to his elbows to prop himself up, trying to keep his weight off of her body. But Gabby was having none of it, her fingers weaving themselves through his locks of blonde hair. Tugging on his hair, Gabby reached up to attack his lips hungrily.

A whole two minutes later, Matt regretfully tugged away leaving his forehead pressed against hers, his chest heaving. Gabby opened her eyes to give him a lazy smile. "Babe," she whined, suggestively tugging at his belt. "Come back to bed," she tried to entice, she could feel Matt's heart thudding against her other hand that was trailing down past his shirt buttons.

Matt shook his head at her ruefully as he carefully untangled himself from her and started towards the door. "Budget meeting Babe."

Gabby pouted from the bed. "You can't have as much fun at the meeting as you can right here with me…" she trailed off. Matt turned at the doorway taking pity on her and planted one last kiss on her cheek. "And you can't make a baby at your meeting," she growled into his ear.

"Bye Babe…" Gabby humphed as she watched him disappear out of the door and only moments later the front door to the apartment slam shut. Throwing herself back onto the soft pillows she left out a loud sigh, pondering what he might have planned for tonight. As long as it ended in this bed - she would be happy.

Gabby heard her phone chirp from the bedside table startling her from her baby fantasies. Lazily she reached out to grasp the phone. "Aw shit," she mumbled to herself as she read the message from her older brother telling her that he was waiting at their regular breakfast place.

* * *

Antonio watched over the rim of his coffee cup with curiosity and a little annoyance as his baby sister entered the small cafe and hurried over to join him. "There she is!" he quipped, carefully setting his cup back down on the table.

With an apologetic smile, Gabby slid into the booth across from him, "I'm so sorry, Antonio! Time just got away from me this morning and-"

Antonio chuckled, "It's fine. I get it, you and your husband lost track of time. I was married once… I know."

"Not everything comes back to that Antonio Dawson," she scolded lightly picking up the menu in an attempt to hide what she thought would likely be a rising look of embarrassment across her face. Antonio hummed quietly in the background as he watched her scan the large laminated sheet quickly.

"Ok, spill," Antonio insisted as soon as the waiter started to walk away after taking their orders. Sitting up straight, he leaned into the table and folded one hand atop the other, "I can see it written all over your face… there's just something you're dying to say."

Gabby scoffed, though the fact that she was not willing to meet her brother's curious eyes confirmed his statement, "Can't I just be happy to see my big brother?"

"Absolutely!" Antonio agreed. "And you should be! But no…there's something else going on. I haven't seen you this… _giddy_ since, well, since Louie." A thought occurred to him and he gasped, "Oh shit! Is that it? Are you and Matt getting Louie back? Did the guy finally realize he was an ass to destroy the only family the kid has ever known?"

Gabby winced, a little startled by her brother's words but also a little taken aback by the guilt she felt wash over her. "No, we didn't get him back." She shook her head, "That won't happen, Antonio. As much as it pains me to admit it, let alone even say it, Louie's where he should be."

"Well if it's not that then… wait! Are you pregnant?"

Gabby shook her head but couldn't hold back the grin, " _No_. At least not yet. But Matt and I have decided to expand our family."

Antonio laughed, "So that _is_ why you were late! Ha! I knew it!"

"Really, Antonio? You're going to actually go there?"

Antonio raised a brow, gracing his baby sister with his _I'm right and you know it_ look that she saw all too often while growing up. "I mean, am I wrong, Gabriela?"

"No but-"

"But nothing! This is great news! I've been dying to be Tio Tonio!"

Gabby beamed, her heart full from her brother's excitement. He had been absolutely amazing with Louie and she knew losing the toddler had also left a dull ache in her brother's heart. "But please don't mention this to anybody else, especially mom and dad. Mom has been bugging me about giving her another grandbaby and I really don't want to jinx it in case it doesn't happen right away."

"Well why wouldn't it happen right away?"

Gabby shrugged as she started to fold one corner of the paper place mat in front of her, "I'm just trying not to get my hopes up. If I start telling a lot of people that we're trying then I feel like I'll jinx it...kind of like I did with my first pregnancy. We told people before I even cleared the first trimester…" Despite the heavy sigh that fell from her lips, the heaviness in her chest did not ease, "I just can't take all those sympathetic looks again."

"Why? Because you're afraid of showing a little vulnerability?"

Gabby glared at her brother, "Can we please change the subject now?"

Antonio cast her one move serious look before moving the conversation on as requested. He wasn't letting it go, he knew there was more to this story than she was letting on.

* * *

As soon as Matt had walked out of the budget meeting Severide had called him asking him for help in putting together a new entertainment stand he'd purchased on a whim the day before from one of Cruz's cousins.

"Dude! Where the hell are you?" Kelly exclaimed in good fun as waved a hand in front of Matt's face. He smirked when Matt finally pulled himself back to the present, "Ok, spill!"

Matt shook his head but was unable to keep the grin from slipping out, "What are you talking about?"

"You've been in freaking La La Land since you got here! You're supposed to be helping me with this entertainment center and I kind of need you to be focused!"

"Sorry, sorry….it's just," he chuckled, only debating for a half a second on saying anything before the words came tumbling out of his mouth, "Gabby and I are going to try for a baby."

"Well it's about damn time!" Kelly bellowed with mock exasperation. "I've never met a couple more deserving of being parents than you and Dawson."

"Yeah?" Matt asked, a little taken aback by his friend's words. It was no secret to anyone that knew Matt that he'd longed to be a father for quite some time now. It was just one of the many factors that had made his relationship with Hallie so unstable. And then his time acting as guardian for the Darden boys had just added to his desires to become a father. But it was also during the time with the Darden boys that his dreams became clearer and he saw Gabby by his side.

When she'd told him she was pregnant, he'd never felt more complete. His whole life, it was finally coming together. Not only was he going to finally become a father, but the one gifting him with the missing piece of his heart was the love of his life.

He had been on cloud nine.

And nothing was going to take him away.

Until cloud nine had disappeared right beneath this feet and had sent him crashing to the ground.

He still couldn't get the look of fear in Gabby's eyes or the sound of her panicked voice calling out for him in the emergency room of Chicago Med.

And then there was Louie. He shook his head, losing him was still too fresh some days. It was Kelly's voice that kept him from going down that dark memory lane.

"Of course, dude! Why would you even think otherwise?"

Matt shrugged, "Things haven't exactly gone in our favor and for a while there I wondered if maybe it just wasn't meant to be."

Kelly shook his head defiantly, "Nah, you can't think like that!" Wanting ease the stress that was radiating off of his best friend, he chuckled, "So uh….does this mean the blinds to your office will be always closed? Because, dude, I've seen it with other couples, when they decide they wanna have a baby...it is sex all the damn time! Offices, storage closets, _showers_ , and cars!"

"No, no, it's not like that," Matt insisted as he shook his head, smirking at Kelly's words, "we just started talking about it last night." He motioned towards the stack of shelves and hardware that was supposed to be Kelly's entertainment center. "Come on, let's get this thing built...Gabby and I have got dinner plans tonight."

* * *

Gabby was putting the finishing touches on her makeup waiting for Matt to come home and finally let her into his 'secret' plans for their night together. Gabby actually struggled to remember the last time that they had been out for a date night. After they had gotten married Gabby had wanted them to keep the spark alive rather than fall into a mundane life - and their lives recently had consisted of work and going to Molly's. They needed something to spice up life; their last few 'dates' had consisted of going out to Molly's for a drink and then sitting on the couch with a movie and calling it a night. Gabby did enjoy these nights but it was nice to get dressed up and have a nice meal - well she hoped she was getting a meal out of this.

Smoothing down her dress, Gabby regarded herself in the mirror. She had considered putting her little tight black dress on, that one that been worn that first fateful night. But as she stared at it, hanging the back of the wardrobe, it just hadn't seen right for their situation - a nice romantic night out called for something different. Next she had pulled out the blue dress that she had worn on that god awful double date with her brother and work partner, no that wouldn't do either. Finally she picked out a sleeveless black dress with a nice lace overlay that stretched over her bare back. She could already imagine Matt's calloused fingers tracing down her back later that night when he removed the dress.

With a grin spreading over her face Gabby quickly put on her earrings wondering where Matt had gotten too… Just as the thought graced her mind her phone buzzed across the vanity. Matt's face lit up her screen.

" _I'm in the truck…. Hurry up,_ " Matt told her before hanging up. Gabby pulled the phone away from her face in surprise. Mat had been short and to the point, hadn't even allowed her to get in a word before ending the call. She had to laugh as she gathered up the last of her things and shoved them hurriedly into her small black bag before closing the door behind herself. Gabby knew full well why Matt had called from the truck; she knew it would be a repeat of this morning. There had better be a repeat of this morning later tonight… More than once if she had her way.

Matt had been taken back when Gabby had declared that she was going to order the Roasted Lemon Chicken with Asparagus. He could count the number of times, on one hand, a number of times she had ordered a roast chicken.

"Chicken?" he inquired as the waitress walked away from their table.

"I read today that it was good for fertility," she responded, taking a sip from her water glass, having refused her usual glass of wine.

Matt's eyes grew large over his own wine glass at his wife's admission. When he suggested that may be it was time to expand their family, he hadn't expected that she would throw herself in feet first and go so far with everything on the first night. Looking down at his plate, he grinned to himself wryly, of course Gabby would be doing this. Gabby Casey did nothing by halves; look at the academy and her whole firefighting career.

He looked back up to find Gabby's smiling face, her brown eyes staring thoughtfully into his.

"Huh?" he questioned, the look on her face told him that he had missed something that Gabby was telling him, likely something important.

Gabby laughed slightly, her eyebrows raised.

"So I found all of these apps that are supposed to be really good for tracking everything…"

"Gabs," Matt tried to interject, but it was to no avail. This was not something that he wanted to be talking about at the restaurant.

Gabby simply continued to charge on, "There are so many things that we need to think about… Who would have thought that there were so many fertility apps. I've downloaded a heap of them… Look," Gabby pulled her phone out and scrolled through until she found a folder she had saved on her phone entitled 'Baby 3'. Matt's eyes widen slightly to find that she had five or six different apps downloaded into that folder. He wasn't too sure how this all worked, but the one thing he was sure about was that there was never a need for this many apps.

Gabby laughed slightly at the widening of the eyes, yes maybe she had gone overboard slightly with all the apps, books and reading. When she arrived home from brunching with Antonio she didn't have much going on. What started as looking at one website quickly snowballed into downloading many, many apps. Matt would understand soon enough.

"So apparently we can track my period, basal body temperature, how many times we have sex. The longer I use it, it will even tell me when I'm ovulating and I can even track my cervical fluid…"

Matt raised an eyebrow at the last comment and quickly glanced around them to see if anyone had overheard his wife's conversation.

"And I've been online and checking out some books that we can read. Apparently, the best one is -" Gabby held a finger up, pausing her conversation with Matt and flicking through her phone reading app quickly, "It's called Get Ready to Get Pregnant," she passed her phone over the table for him to look at. If Gabby had taken the time to actually look at Matt, she would have noticed the worry creases becoming deeper around his eyes.

"Uh Babe…" he strutted. How was he supposed to say something to this?

"And then there's this one too - I'm going to load it onto your phone when we get home," continued Gabby as she leaned across the table to swipe the screen to show Matt the next book.

Matt couldn't quite believe that he had come face to face with a book called 'The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be'. They didn't have a baby to think about or plan for yet and here he was looking over a book with advice for dads to be. That wasn't him - not yet anyway. As he flicked upwards on the screen; his brain registered words here and there 'midwife'... 'expectant'... 'hospitals'... 'birthing centers'... His head was spinning.

"Oh and I've picked you up some multivitamins too." Matt couldn't contain the look of horror from his face. It wasn't supposed to be like this – last night when they had decided to start trying for a baby he would have never have believed that by the following evening he would have to be forcing some sort of pill down his throat.

"What?"

"When I was reading on some TTC…"

"TTC?" It was like Gabby was speaking a language that he didn't understand, it was even more odd than Spanish and he heard plenty of that.

"Trying to Conceive," Gabby parroted it out as if it was an everyday term. The CFD had plenty of acronyms, but this was ridiculous. Matt shook his head and tried to concentrate on what Gabby was telling him, in quite the animated fashion. "I was reading on various TTC forums that not only is it important for me to start taking supplements, it's good for you too. They are used to help with sperm health."

Matt's eyes grew wide, looking around to see if anyone was listening into their conversation. Wasn't this a conversation that they should be having in the privacy of their own home? He did not want to be talking about his sperm at home, let alone in a very public place. The only other place that could be worse than here would be the firehouse.

"Gabs?" he reached out his hand across to table to capture hers. "Babe, let's just enjoy dinner," he started as the waitress placed their plates in front of them both. "Dinner first and then a night to enjoy ourselves."

Gabby smiled before reaching out over the table to place a quick peck on his lips. Matt was right, there was plenty of time to talk about this later. But she couldn't help the excitement bubbling inside of her.

* * *

 _So Rebecca got the intro - I've (Em) got the post chapter notes! We've been talking about this since forever, heck we had to go all the way back to April to even find the title we thought of. This story is something that we both feel can get glossed over and a subject matter that we both like to write. Rebecca is an amazing talented writer who has a strong grasp on these characters and the storyline that we've crafted and I'm forever grateful for that. We've had a blast planning and writing this. Very blessed to have worked with her on this..._

 _Hope you enjoyed this first chapter and strap yourself in... might take a while to get to each chapter, but here's to hoping you enjoy each one of them. See that little post review button just below? Go on, tell us what you think, you know you want to :D_


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